Register to Vote

I hope everyone who reads this goes out to register to vote. I just called the Brooklyn office and their deadline is October 10th.

JUST GO OUT THERE TO REGISTER AT THE OFFICE!!!

345 ADAMS STREET, 4TH FLOOR
BROOKLYN, NY 11201

718 797 8800

Log 843.49.....

Well since I'm not working because I haven't heard from anyone about work, I guess I'll have to write some stuff in my blog. You'll see a surge of blog posts if I'm not working as much as I would like to.

Yeah, I don't like the feeling of not working because well my body feels like crap. I know when I work and I have to get up early and I stayed up late the night before, my body feels like crap too. But this is horrendous. It feels like I have the flu but really I don't.

I watched It Happened One Night via Netflix's instant watch. It was a really good movie. I laughed and was touched by Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. I originally hate watching Clark Gable because of Gone With the Wind. I hated that movie. I also hate the Wizard of Oz. I like very few movies that are older than 1970. The movie was also in black and white -- which was a bit difficult for me because I always feel that black and white movies are the most frightening of them all. I guess mostly they can't rely on using blood to describe a scene. You can't see a gruesome image, but you do hear sounds. Sound effects are mightier than an image. As you can imagine hearing something crawl on the wall comparing to actually watching something crawl on the wall. Some techniques of seeing something works. An example for me? Let's say the camera is concentrated on a character talking, but in the background you see something rising unfocused. That for me is scary because you know what it is, but the character doesn't know. So you're anticipating the reaction. A few more of these funny black and white movies and my view of B&W flicks will have changed.

After watching I decided to do some reading/studying. I love having a pen in hand writing. So I picked up An Actor Prepares by Constantin Stanislavski. The book itself is long winded and almost unbearable to read. So I'm taking notes. I'm only taking the important stuff and writing that down in my notebook. I don't understand why it has to be so filled with unnecessary "I want to be a true actor" rubbish. All this stuff about over dramatizing wanting to be an actor is making me feel sick. If I wanted to read some wimp's diary, I'd have picked up a trashy romance novel. So I'm taking what I need and throwing the rest out. Maybe I'll even create a website that has all the vital information from that book to save people from reading bad literature.

I HATE ROACHES!!!

I have done all I can to make sure no roaches enter and still I see roaches in my apartment. And it's not even one of those tiny vermins. It's huge water bug types! *faints* *hyper-ventilates* The building has monthly spraying and when they spray, all the roaches scatter. I think I know where they are coming from. I can deal with mice. I can't deal with roaches. Something has to be done.

Where is my expanding foam?!

New Layout

I had to choose a new layout because it was literally cramping my style. ;-) The main reason? I was trying to add the Playlist.com gadget/widget and the last layout was too narrow. It cut the damned thing in half. I did some HTML rendering and tried to increase more space, but I'm just not as well versed in HTML. I did as much as I could, but darn it twasn't enough.

Just a little update on what's going on right now. My internal Hard Disk Drive (HDD) crashed on my laptop. I lost a whole lotta shit. The good thing is that everything that was important to me that I lost can be recovered via searching through my Gmail inbox or found in several strategically placed locations on the internet. AKA Free Internet Storage Sites. I used to recommend Xdrive, but I found out that they were a subsidiary of AOL. I knew bad things were going to happen there. They did have pretty good programming, but recently altered their programming and got rid of the "upload entire folder" option --which pissed me off royally. I am digitizing record albums for my father using the Ion TTUSB record player and I can't be bothered uploading individual files and creating a new folder for them. They were good also because they offered 5 GB of free space. I tried going back to MediaMax but they shut down. They were offerinig 25GB but only 1GB of monthly usage --meaning you could only download 1GB each month for the free service. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who hated that fact. I found out 2 days ago that they closed! (I'm giggling here because now I know I wasn't the only one.) So I found ADrive.com They are offering 50GB for FREE!

What I did to fix my computer, was to find out where the hard drive is stored. Take it out, take out an external hard drive from the caddy. And then swap the hard drives. I put everything back together and booted up the install disk that I got when my computer was shipped. It's like upgrading your laptop hard drive. The original hard drive was 80GB, I've replaced it with a 120GB one. It's pretty sweet. At the moment I have about 87.5 GB free. Nice.

Losing out on a gig

I wish that people would let potential employees know as soon as possible that they have given the job to another person. I really hate people who never call me to let me know this. I'm thinking that I already have the job because no one has contacted me otherwise. Where did this come from? Some employer who felt too bad about telling a person that they didn't get the job? It's like when a superior fires an employee. I remember watching several TV shows and movies where superiors have a difficult time firing an employee because they fear hurting their feelings.

The truth of the matter is: It sucks getting fired or hearing that you didn't get the job. But it's better than not hearing from the potential employer at all.

So please call me as soon as possible to let me know that I didn't get the job.

China: The Whole Enchilada

So I just finished working on a show in the Fringe Festival. This is the very first show I have ever worked on in the Fringe amazingly enough. Though I've been around the theater scene in New York for quite some time. I just never saw the Fringe as a festival I wanted to be in.

Then this show came. I liked it. There are very few shows that I enjoy watching...probably even less that I enjoy running. This was fun. I loved the actors, crew, and all the production teams in between. We had a great venue manager, great stage managers, great playwright, and an awesome script to work with. I hope this does get produced on Off-Broadway and then Broadway. It deserves it. Not to mention, I was also at my alma mater: Pace University's Michael Schimmel Center for the Arts.

I just read some reviews for the show and people loved it! I loved reading the Backstage review. You can read it too right here:

http://www.backstage.com/bso/news_reviews/nyc/review_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003838081


I had a great time and I hope to get to run projections again in the future.

Ovarian cysts...pregnancy...

So here I am back again. After 2 weeks of agonizing pain working the 2 week Fresh Fruit Theater Festival marathon I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disease. Some of my symptoms have been recurring nightmares. One such occasion is 2 days after the festival at 3:30am. I sat up turned to Louis and slapped him a few times asking him "What cue are we in?". To which Louis replies logically "No, cues, sleepy time." So I try to explain to him what cues are and then I say in a huff "Well if you don't care, then I don't care" --that's when I turn over and fall back asleep. I had no recollection of ever doing that in the morning. Last night I became startled when Louis tried to stop me from grinding and scratching my Psoriatic scalp. I thought he had hit me during his sleep, but it was actually me becoming startled. I just need to have a vacation.

On top of that my period hasn't arrived. I have seen no sign of it. Maybe it's the stress from working the theater festival, but my senses told me it was something else. I became scared because I thought I was pregnant. Four days after the first missed period, Louis and I took a home pregnancy test. It was negative.

I started becoming even more worried last night and today because I not only noticed some swelling in my tummy, but also some cramping in the office today. Especially after drinking coffee. But also when I found out that I had to use the bathroom. I looked into things other than pregnancy. I read up about Ovarian cysts. Apparently they happen during child bearing years. Which is probably now for me. So I read that when an egg is ready it bursts from its "cyst" which is filled with fluid. It travels down to the uterus where it waits to be fertilized. Well an ovarian cyst is when the egg doesn't burst. And the cyst just grows in size of fluid and sometimes blood. These articles tell me that it usually takes 1-3 months to pass and 95% of them are not cancerous. But about a 1/4 of people who get these feel pain. They have similar symptoms to being pregnant. I hope it's nothing serious. I really do not have the time to deal with this right now. So I cramp every 2-3 hours or so or until I relieve myself in the bathroom. Forums on the internet also say that these "cramps" occur during the menstrual cycle or at the beginning or at the end. As of today, August 6, 2008, it should be the end of my menstrual cycle. I'm hoping this will go away. I probably should visit the OB/GYN to find out what is going on with my body.

Social Commentary

Boston was really cool. Louis showed me around the place. Where he used to hang and the Boston Conservatory. Apparently Louis has been around a block a few more times than I would like to think of him. In fact, it makes me nervous and uneasy to think that he was a playboy/player in his youth. It bothers me a lot. I don't think he's like that anymore --seeing as he sees me every day and pretty much doesn't leave my side and calls me all the time even when I'm at work! Sometimes that's annoying. Most times it's comforting. I just have to keep my eyes and ears open and hope to God he's not playing with some boytoy or girltoy behind my back. Because if he does ---his computer goes out the window of my apartment --so does his camera and everything he owns. Don't mess with me. But other than that, it was a pretty relaxing holiday. I went to the cemetery that Eugene O'Neill and e.e. cummings was buried in. That was a highlight. I didn't realise how small Boston was until Louis and I decided to take a walk in Boston during the evening of the 4th of July. We walked down a street starting with C. Um...gosh...there was soo many different street names. Let me see Google Maps. Clarendon Street. From Clarendon we went onto Boylston and then onto Massachusetts Avenue to see the Boston Conservatory.

The last few posts were just copies from my HI5 Journal. Yeah, I have an account there too. My friend Max sent me an email asking me to join. I always check out new places to make my mark on the internet.

I've been really busy the past few days. As soon as I got back from the Boston trip I had 3 days of load in work at The Public. I got to work on Hair!!! At the Delacorte!!! Yea! I'm soo happy!!! It was a great 3 days. I very much got my tan in during those days. I met Ryan Makely again. The last time I saw him was actually at Max's place for New Company Theater readings. I'll be sure to keep him in mind for costume and set decorating jobs with A Company of Players. I can't believe we worked through the rain. That was awesome! I can't believe it! I get to work and play in the rain as an adult! Most grown ups don't enjoy it, but I love being in the rain.

For the next 2 weeks I'm working on the Fresh Fruit Festival. Their Summer Theater festival allows me to stretch my Assistant Technical Director wings. I work with Louis Lopardi who is a theater guru. In fact, he's working on the sound design for Courting Mae West right now. I just went to a Fresh Fruit event at the Barnes and Noble at Lincoln Center. It ws nice, but I was more excited about the Cafe there because I used to work in the cafe. I loved eating the food. That's soo typical of me. Stuffing my face as usual. I can't help that I love eating. I freely admit that I have an oral fixation.
Louis made me the Stage Manager for Courting Mae West as well. I'm also stitching together throws for the furniture. I'm also the electrician and the operator for both the lights and the sound. And the ATD for the festival that this play is premiering and running in. That's a bit much isn't it???

I hope the work in theater comes more frequently starting in the Fall. I'm constantly worried that I some how won't make it. Like I'm not good enough. But I am learning every step of the way. I like on the job training. I'm fast at things like that. I'm really slow when it comes to studying from a book because there is too much verbal explanation. I learn the fastest when I am watching. I watch -- I take in.

So I'm going to go back to sewing throws for the play. I have to take my brother to Stony Brook tomorrow. He's starting summer school there. I'm really excited about getting behind the wheel again. It's a lot of fun driving and I wonder how fun it will be to drive Ben to school. Like the great big sister. :-) I hope Ben brings with him some great music, otherwise we'll be listening to the boring radio.

blog blog blog ouch...

*sigh* More dental woes. It seems that the temporary filling may have been too high. It pushed the "root filling" up and beyond the actual root and into my gums which is why it was causing my cheek and gums to swell. Was prescribed some really strong antibiotics. It's also the reason to why I was soo quiet and un-friendly for the past week. I hate dental work. I've had the worst experience. Every 6 months I get a check up and a cleaning and end up finding that I have a cavity. I'm soo sick of it. I have given up candy and gum. The only I eat as far as dessert goes is chocolate and even that I've given up milk chocolate because it makes my face break out with acne. I can't win. I think I'm allergic to sugar. I've even started drinking more green tea because it helps prevent cavities. Still no use. Fuck this.

I'm heading to Boston tomorrow!!!! I'm excited about seeing Boston with someone other than my mother. The last time I was there I went because my mother wanted me to see Harvard. I still harbour ill feelings to my mother because she wanted me to be who I wasn't. Be a doctor. Be a teacher. Be anything just don't work in an environment that doesn't provide health insurance and reitrement savings. I hope this time when I go with Louis I won't feel so much like a loser. A reject.

On the upside I had my first day at the Delacourte helping to strike Hamlet. It's wonderful. I loved the set. I could even tolerate the fact that everyone else in the cast and crew were having a barbeque and drinking beer while I was taking down lights. I was really happy about that. I've got 3 more days at the Delacourte after the Independence Day weekend. I'm soo psyched!

I think I'm going to be booked solid for the upcoming weeks because of The Public Theater, Fresh Fruit Festival, and some day work for an upcoming movie courtesy of Declan Baldwin again. Glad to know that I haven't severed ties with everyone I've worked with in the film industry.

I Wish

I don't want to work hard anymore
I don't want to work smart anymore.

I wish there was something that came to me easily. I wish I had an innate and natural talent that would make it easier for me to get better at what I do.

I wish I didn't have to work so hard to be what I want to be and to do what I want to do.

I wish I didn't have to struggle. I wish I wasn't handicapped.

I wish I was goo at English.
I wish I was good at Maths.
I was I was good at Acting.
I wish I was good at Science.
I wish I was good at Music.

I wish I was talented.

The Last Few Days

The last few days have been a whirl. Tuesday I had visit number 1 of several for the root canal. I had 10mg of diazepan (or Valium). I was very relaxed and a little weak on my feet after the 2 hours. The dentists were great. It didn't hurt too much and he added more anesthesia when the tooth started to wake up again. The pain was really unbearable once the first Motrin wore off. I walked up Coney Island Avenue to Walgreens to get more prescribed as well as 28 more Penicillin pills. *sigh* I have 4 bottles of medication right now. I have never had this many before in my entire life.

I spent today with Louis. He's having a tough time dealing with the playwright. I think she's a freak. She doesn't sleep. I see that she sends email to Louis during all moments of the night. It's insane. Louis is sick of having his basement flooded out and has moved his office to my place. Which is nice. We've holed up in the front room with my computer and his computer. More of his stuff will come. We walked to the Gravesend Post Office today to pick up his Amazon order. Sat for a few minutes having an Oreo McFlurry, Sweet Tea, and a Vanilla Milkshake. Then off to get Louis new pants! Yea! Cheap new pants. We met our friend Alyn along the way and spoke to him briefly. Surprised because he usually gets off at Neck Road. Bought some great food at the market downstairs and took a much needed nap. :-) Of course Louis got up and went to cook dinner. Oh and we also stopped in an Italian bakery/pastry shoppe. That was a great highlight. Elephant ears and biscotti. Mmm...tea dunking. :-)

I'm soo tired. It's been a long day. I don't know how tomorrow will be as I probably will still be at home. Louis has to go into town to take care of some accounting work.

I have to remind myself to book a car at Enterprise to take my brother to Stony Brook. Also to book tickets using the Chinese jitney buses for the 4th of July weekend.

Fresh Fruit Festival is coming up later in July. Another week of craziness..Eugh..

Boston or Bust!

I am going to Boston for the Fourth of July weekend! Yea! I'm actually going on a vacation?! I can't remember the last time I went on a holiday vacation. Soo long...it's been soo long!!!

That's some good news other than the Root Canal. *sigh* Anyway, Louis and I will be catching one of those cheap little Chinese buses to visit his friends in Boston. He wants to take me to Beacon Hill and Charles Street where he grew up. He was all excited about talking to his friend in Boston (where we will be staying at). No doubt we will get no sleep whatsoever because he will want me to get as much out of it as possible.

Louis is semi-moving in with me as well. His landlord is being a bitch after 12 years of living there. That will help me save some money and will put less of a burden on my parents. He says he wants the front room and turn it in an office. New experiences...

Work is starting to dwindle a bit as it is well into the season. Maybe it's time Louis took some professional photos of me so I can push myself out as a model or something. Just some type of income will do. Re-apply to Barnes and Noble for now? Get Health and Dental? Ask for more gigs with the Temp Agency? I don't know. It's been almost 2 weeks of just sitting around now.

Horrible Day at the Dentist.

Well, it would have been alright if the dentist had said there was nothing wrong with me. This is a new dentist that I am seeing. He's actually my boyfriend's dentist. Dr. Slobodski. Or is that Slobodsky? He's got great digital technology.

So I told him about this blister on a part of a my gums. The first time I appeared I went to a dentist -- Dr. Gerald Lenkowitz. Who took an x-ray and said there was nothing wrong. Well Dr. Slobodski thinks of him as an "idiot" because before he took the x-ray he felt the blister and automatically diagnosed it as a fistula. He said that there's something wrong with this tooth. Turned out the tooth had died. Yep. Died. Ceased to live - to exist. No wonder I was feeling this much pain when the swelling happened ON MY FUCKING CHEEK LAST YEAR! Suffice it to say -- this doctor is great so far. He has a great sense of humour and he prescribed me some Valium along with the antibiotics. I'm going to get gas on top of that Valium when I go in to get my root canal done on Tuesday, June 24th. Wish me loads of luck.

This is going to put me in the poor house. I hate the medical system in this country. I told my mother about it and she doesn't understand why there are specific doctors for extracting teeth other than your dentist. I told her blame the private practice that exists in this country. I'm about ready to migrate to England at this point. I'm really tired. I have soo much anxiety going to the dentist it's not even funny. I almost broke my mother's hand once. This probably wouldn't be such an issue if I had a dentist when I was a child that would administer some Numb medicine. But the Chinatown dentist I had a child didn't believe in painkillers. At this point I'm screaming to my parents "HOW COULD YOU!!!" Dentists have always been a problem for me and I guess it would just continue to be a problem. I'm sad...I'm only 25!!!.

AISG Reunion Dinner

I can't believe I made it to the reunion dinner. I haven't seen any of these guys for over 10 years! I thought it was going to be awkward, but it wasn't and I was very happy to have seen all of them. I couldn't believe all the people I knew.

Kate, Michael, Jeremy, Bob, Amy, and I met a few new people too. Jane, and Bob's girlfriend. We talked about the good times and memories and what we're doing right now and so on and so forth. It was a lot of fun seeing them again, and I hope that we'll all be able to meet up again soon.

I can't believe Jeremy's interning as a doctor here in New York. Apparently he wants to do his residency here. Maybe he can give me a check up for a low price. Bob's some important banker now who works like 17 hour days. I can't believe he can take this. Kate's majoring in music technology. Amy majored in Chemistry. And Mike...I forgot what he was doing. I think something in savings? Stock? Movies? Jane works at The Essex Hotel. I guess we aren't doing so bad after all.

We've all changed and grown up, but I can still see the "middle-high school" attitudes and antics. I wish I had my camera. I wish other people had brought their cameras. I'm sure no one else from Guangzhou would believe it.

Too many colds for one season

I caught yet another cold from Louis. :-( *sniff* Louis is having lots of stress and thus when I try to help him get better by giving him medicine and warm love, I catch the cold myself.

It's been busy on my end. Edward II has succumbed. It was a good run. Short but good. I wonder if I will work with anyone from that show again. If they call me for another production I would say yes of course.

I have contacted everyone that my friend Desi and James have given me about Electrics jobs in theatre. I shall be at the Bowery Hotel tonight at 2am to strike. It will be fun I think. I'm a night owl anyway. And it's good money.

I have an audition coming up also the same day as the strike. Then on Monday I will return to Hartman & Craven LLP to be the receptionist. I still haven't been called by the Extras agency for any work, but I did give them a call letting them know I am available.

Louis' room mates are all moving out. Louis will have the place to himself soon. In fact, soon he will be moving out too. He might be moving in with me for the time being. It's very stressful. He's got lots of stuff and I don't have lots of room for him.

Just thinking about the next few days makes me sick and tired. I have an AISG reunion dinner to attend this coming Friday. I'm glad for that. I haven't seen Michael, Bob, and the rest for years! A decade even! Wow...I can't believe it.

Then on February 22, I have an ISB dinner to attend at Ruby Foos. I have put Louis on the list as well as my guest. He has to come...hehehehehe...it will be a surprise when I say that he's my boyfriend/partner. Heads will turn.

Things are finally picking up and I'm happy because this winter was rough. But I finally got paid from The Guitar and I had 4 days at the law firm and a semi regular job working off-broadway. Good stuff come in chunks. Not to mention I have been able to plow through 6 books since I moved to Avenue U. Finally! What I wanted a lot of the times was the quietness to read and now I do. I read on the subway, I can read at Louis' place, I can read at my place without having loud music or people talking to me. Just quiet time in a chair reading. I can't read in bed because I'll fall asleep.

Oh, I also bought myself a USB Turntable!!! Brand new off of Ebay! for $60. After shipping costs, total $89! I'm soo glad. I'll be able to turn all the records that my father and I have into MP3s. I love listening to music with those pops. I'm soo annoyed that CDs don't have them anymore. They have been digitally rendered and fixed so that the sound is perfect. I think that's what Edward II needed during that first scene. Some pops coming from the music in the Victrola.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to everyone who reads this.

I spent my New Year with my favourite person, Louis, who has also been taking care of me because my cold/flu is now a sinus infection. I'm in bed most of the time recuperating. I'm positive that the cold turned to a sinus infection either on Thursday, December 27, or Friday, December 28th because I started blowing out bright yellow thick sticky snot.

This morning I woke up to find myself blowing out orange snot. Or snot mixed with blood. I'm drinking more hot beverages and steaming myself in the bathroom. I'm hoping that will help. I'm also going to drape a hot towel over my face. Eugh...

I'm hoping that everyone is having a better New Year than I am. You do not want to be in my position. Trust me.