Social Commentary

Boston was really cool. Louis showed me around the place. Where he used to hang and the Boston Conservatory. Apparently Louis has been around a block a few more times than I would like to think of him. In fact, it makes me nervous and uneasy to think that he was a playboy/player in his youth. It bothers me a lot. I don't think he's like that anymore --seeing as he sees me every day and pretty much doesn't leave my side and calls me all the time even when I'm at work! Sometimes that's annoying. Most times it's comforting. I just have to keep my eyes and ears open and hope to God he's not playing with some boytoy or girltoy behind my back. Because if he does ---his computer goes out the window of my apartment --so does his camera and everything he owns. Don't mess with me. But other than that, it was a pretty relaxing holiday. I went to the cemetery that Eugene O'Neill and e.e. cummings was buried in. That was a highlight. I didn't realise how small Boston was until Louis and I decided to take a walk in Boston during the evening of the 4th of July. We walked down a street starting with C. Um...gosh...there was soo many different street names. Let me see Google Maps. Clarendon Street. From Clarendon we went onto Boylston and then onto Massachusetts Avenue to see the Boston Conservatory.

The last few posts were just copies from my HI5 Journal. Yeah, I have an account there too. My friend Max sent me an email asking me to join. I always check out new places to make my mark on the internet.

I've been really busy the past few days. As soon as I got back from the Boston trip I had 3 days of load in work at The Public. I got to work on Hair!!! At the Delacorte!!! Yea! I'm soo happy!!! It was a great 3 days. I very much got my tan in during those days. I met Ryan Makely again. The last time I saw him was actually at Max's place for New Company Theater readings. I'll be sure to keep him in mind for costume and set decorating jobs with A Company of Players. I can't believe we worked through the rain. That was awesome! I can't believe it! I get to work and play in the rain as an adult! Most grown ups don't enjoy it, but I love being in the rain.

For the next 2 weeks I'm working on the Fresh Fruit Festival. Their Summer Theater festival allows me to stretch my Assistant Technical Director wings. I work with Louis Lopardi who is a theater guru. In fact, he's working on the sound design for Courting Mae West right now. I just went to a Fresh Fruit event at the Barnes and Noble at Lincoln Center. It ws nice, but I was more excited about the Cafe there because I used to work in the cafe. I loved eating the food. That's soo typical of me. Stuffing my face as usual. I can't help that I love eating. I freely admit that I have an oral fixation.
Louis made me the Stage Manager for Courting Mae West as well. I'm also stitching together throws for the furniture. I'm also the electrician and the operator for both the lights and the sound. And the ATD for the festival that this play is premiering and running in. That's a bit much isn't it???

I hope the work in theater comes more frequently starting in the Fall. I'm constantly worried that I some how won't make it. Like I'm not good enough. But I am learning every step of the way. I like on the job training. I'm fast at things like that. I'm really slow when it comes to studying from a book because there is too much verbal explanation. I learn the fastest when I am watching. I watch -- I take in.

So I'm going to go back to sewing throws for the play. I have to take my brother to Stony Brook tomorrow. He's starting summer school there. I'm really excited about getting behind the wheel again. It's a lot of fun driving and I wonder how fun it will be to drive Ben to school. Like the great big sister. :-) I hope Ben brings with him some great music, otherwise we'll be listening to the boring radio.

blog blog blog ouch...

*sigh* More dental woes. It seems that the temporary filling may have been too high. It pushed the "root filling" up and beyond the actual root and into my gums which is why it was causing my cheek and gums to swell. Was prescribed some really strong antibiotics. It's also the reason to why I was soo quiet and un-friendly for the past week. I hate dental work. I've had the worst experience. Every 6 months I get a check up and a cleaning and end up finding that I have a cavity. I'm soo sick of it. I have given up candy and gum. The only I eat as far as dessert goes is chocolate and even that I've given up milk chocolate because it makes my face break out with acne. I can't win. I think I'm allergic to sugar. I've even started drinking more green tea because it helps prevent cavities. Still no use. Fuck this.

I'm heading to Boston tomorrow!!!! I'm excited about seeing Boston with someone other than my mother. The last time I was there I went because my mother wanted me to see Harvard. I still harbour ill feelings to my mother because she wanted me to be who I wasn't. Be a doctor. Be a teacher. Be anything just don't work in an environment that doesn't provide health insurance and reitrement savings. I hope this time when I go with Louis I won't feel so much like a loser. A reject.

On the upside I had my first day at the Delacourte helping to strike Hamlet. It's wonderful. I loved the set. I could even tolerate the fact that everyone else in the cast and crew were having a barbeque and drinking beer while I was taking down lights. I was really happy about that. I've got 3 more days at the Delacourte after the Independence Day weekend. I'm soo psyched!

I think I'm going to be booked solid for the upcoming weeks because of The Public Theater, Fresh Fruit Festival, and some day work for an upcoming movie courtesy of Declan Baldwin again. Glad to know that I haven't severed ties with everyone I've worked with in the film industry.

I Wish

I don't want to work hard anymore
I don't want to work smart anymore.

I wish there was something that came to me easily. I wish I had an innate and natural talent that would make it easier for me to get better at what I do.

I wish I didn't have to work so hard to be what I want to be and to do what I want to do.

I wish I didn't have to struggle. I wish I wasn't handicapped.

I wish I was goo at English.
I wish I was good at Maths.
I was I was good at Acting.
I wish I was good at Science.
I wish I was good at Music.

I wish I was talented.

The Last Few Days

The last few days have been a whirl. Tuesday I had visit number 1 of several for the root canal. I had 10mg of diazepan (or Valium). I was very relaxed and a little weak on my feet after the 2 hours. The dentists were great. It didn't hurt too much and he added more anesthesia when the tooth started to wake up again. The pain was really unbearable once the first Motrin wore off. I walked up Coney Island Avenue to Walgreens to get more prescribed as well as 28 more Penicillin pills. *sigh* I have 4 bottles of medication right now. I have never had this many before in my entire life.

I spent today with Louis. He's having a tough time dealing with the playwright. I think she's a freak. She doesn't sleep. I see that she sends email to Louis during all moments of the night. It's insane. Louis is sick of having his basement flooded out and has moved his office to my place. Which is nice. We've holed up in the front room with my computer and his computer. More of his stuff will come. We walked to the Gravesend Post Office today to pick up his Amazon order. Sat for a few minutes having an Oreo McFlurry, Sweet Tea, and a Vanilla Milkshake. Then off to get Louis new pants! Yea! Cheap new pants. We met our friend Alyn along the way and spoke to him briefly. Surprised because he usually gets off at Neck Road. Bought some great food at the market downstairs and took a much needed nap. :-) Of course Louis got up and went to cook dinner. Oh and we also stopped in an Italian bakery/pastry shoppe. That was a great highlight. Elephant ears and biscotti. Mmm...tea dunking. :-)

I'm soo tired. It's been a long day. I don't know how tomorrow will be as I probably will still be at home. Louis has to go into town to take care of some accounting work.

I have to remind myself to book a car at Enterprise to take my brother to Stony Brook. Also to book tickets using the Chinese jitney buses for the 4th of July weekend.

Fresh Fruit Festival is coming up later in July. Another week of craziness..Eugh..

Boston or Bust!

I am going to Boston for the Fourth of July weekend! Yea! I'm actually going on a vacation?! I can't remember the last time I went on a holiday vacation. Soo long...it's been soo long!!!

That's some good news other than the Root Canal. *sigh* Anyway, Louis and I will be catching one of those cheap little Chinese buses to visit his friends in Boston. He wants to take me to Beacon Hill and Charles Street where he grew up. He was all excited about talking to his friend in Boston (where we will be staying at). No doubt we will get no sleep whatsoever because he will want me to get as much out of it as possible.

Louis is semi-moving in with me as well. His landlord is being a bitch after 12 years of living there. That will help me save some money and will put less of a burden on my parents. He says he wants the front room and turn it in an office. New experiences...

Work is starting to dwindle a bit as it is well into the season. Maybe it's time Louis took some professional photos of me so I can push myself out as a model or something. Just some type of income will do. Re-apply to Barnes and Noble for now? Get Health and Dental? Ask for more gigs with the Temp Agency? I don't know. It's been almost 2 weeks of just sitting around now.

Horrible Day at the Dentist.

Well, it would have been alright if the dentist had said there was nothing wrong with me. This is a new dentist that I am seeing. He's actually my boyfriend's dentist. Dr. Slobodski. Or is that Slobodsky? He's got great digital technology.

So I told him about this blister on a part of a my gums. The first time I appeared I went to a dentist -- Dr. Gerald Lenkowitz. Who took an x-ray and said there was nothing wrong. Well Dr. Slobodski thinks of him as an "idiot" because before he took the x-ray he felt the blister and automatically diagnosed it as a fistula. He said that there's something wrong with this tooth. Turned out the tooth had died. Yep. Died. Ceased to live - to exist. No wonder I was feeling this much pain when the swelling happened ON MY FUCKING CHEEK LAST YEAR! Suffice it to say -- this doctor is great so far. He has a great sense of humour and he prescribed me some Valium along with the antibiotics. I'm going to get gas on top of that Valium when I go in to get my root canal done on Tuesday, June 24th. Wish me loads of luck.

This is going to put me in the poor house. I hate the medical system in this country. I told my mother about it and she doesn't understand why there are specific doctors for extracting teeth other than your dentist. I told her blame the private practice that exists in this country. I'm about ready to migrate to England at this point. I'm really tired. I have soo much anxiety going to the dentist it's not even funny. I almost broke my mother's hand once. This probably wouldn't be such an issue if I had a dentist when I was a child that would administer some Numb medicine. But the Chinatown dentist I had a child didn't believe in painkillers. At this point I'm screaming to my parents "HOW COULD YOU!!!" Dentists have always been a problem for me and I guess it would just continue to be a problem. I'm sad...I'm only 25!!!.