dead tired

today is the day that i break all the grammar rules. or as much as possible because i'm just too tired to capitalize and whatnot.

for the last 2 days i have been running on 5 hours of sleep. i guess it's my bad because i conditioned myself to have theatrical hours and it's not doing so well for me when i agree to take on working as a temp at a law firm. so i'm up at something like 3am in the morning trying to get some sleep. i get up at 7am to get to the office by 9. i get off at 6 to rush over to the theatre and run sound for 1 show and my day ends at something like 10:45 each night. the ride home from the subway is 1 hour. i usually fall asleep there and then drag my sorry ass up the stairs and to bed.

last night i saw a huge roach in my kitchen. i tried to kill it but was unsuccessful. i need a raid spray! i also need to buy more of that expanding foam sealant and pull out the fridge and find out where that hole is. keeping all the bugs out is not only tough, but almost a full time job. my brother was of no use last night. he just stood there watching the damned bug. i can't have a garbage bin in there for more than 1 day or else roaches would come in. cooking is fine. i just leave the window open and all the smell airs out. this sucks.

i'm tired and hungry at the same time. not to mention my day won't end today until late at night. how am i to survive? help!!

Sweeney Todd

My brother and I went to see Sweeney Todd yesterday for Christmas. It was lovely. Very bloody like the actual musical. I remember watching the version with Angela Lansbury as the Meat Pie lady. She had a wonderful accent and singing voice. It wasn't a very good filmed version, but then again I never enjoyed watching plays or musicals on the television. It seems empty. Like it is missing hundreds of pieces of furniture or props or people.

Tim Burton's style has always been to use the colours of black and white excessively and bringing high contrasting colours into that bleak world. Oh and pale characters. Johnny Depp is always soo pale in Burton's movies. I caught glimpses of Edward Scissorhands during one of the song montages. I like how bright and unrealistic the blood was as everyone's necks were being cut open. Everything else was pale blues, blacks, whites, etc.

The singing was very very nice. I had no idea all these actors can sing and sing well! Especially Johnny Depp. I had to constantly remind myself that he actually sang in a film musical when he was very young. Does anyone remember Cry Baby? Those tears and that voice. He has kept it well. Helena Bonham Carter surprised me because I had never heard her sing before. She seemed like the type of person who would sing punk music. I think her disturbing personas in Burton's movies have skewed my point of view of her. She's soo good at what she does --I just wish I could see her in more contrasting roles. The voice that surprised me the most? Alan Rickman. He had very few singing lines, but my god, the smoothness of his voice. I thought his speaking voice was good, because of not only the accent, but the way his voice reverberates. Bubbly comes to mind when I think of Alan Rickman's voice. It can be menacing or it can be extremely soothing. It's the way he slows down his speech and focuses on the endings of each word that gives me chills. Maybe his teeth scare me too. Then again, everyone's teeth in this movie scares me.

The movie itself is 2 hours long, but I did not look at my watch at all during the entire performance. That's a good thing with me. I normally look at my watch thinking when is this movie over or when will we get to the good part. I originally wanted to go watch Alvin and the Chipmunks because I grew up watching the cartoon. They introduced me to music. I used to listen to them sing Achy Breaky Heart and Beat It or The Purple People Eater. I think I made the right choice in going to watch Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber on Fleet Street.

(Afterwards, in the subway station, I was standing at the DeKalb station and there was a sign that said "Fleet Street" and right underneath it was "Albee Square". I wonder if there is any relation to musicals and theatre right there.)

I have been looking for the lyrics to the movie soundtrack, but to no avail. Someone on IMDB said to buy the 80 page deluxe Soundtrack. I'll have to take a look into it.

Sick, sick, sick...

I am soo sick. For the last week I have been battling this cold/flu/head infection that I caught from Louis. He got it first, I was looking after him and in the midst, I caught it too. I guess it might as well be. Howie has it too now it seems. It's going around. During the Sunday performance I found out that another crew member was sick as well as one of our actor's. Anyway, it's progressing well. The cold started out slow.

It began in the throat for about 3 days. Then it progressed to the nose and I've been clogged since. My ears are constantly off and it's now moving south to my chest. I'm getting the feeling of drowning in my own phlegm. It's not fun because it wakes me up in the middle of the night constantly. I sit up, cough up a lung, and then get back to sleep. I just hope it didn't bother Louis last night. I tried not coughing much or only when needed. I remember it being 3 times. I wish I could spit the phlegm out, but every time I try, I vomit a little. I've had this trouble since I was a kid. Louis says I'm getting better faster than he is considering that mine is already a chest cold.

I heal faster than normal. It's my auto-immune disease that I have. Psoriasis. The first sign of unbalance, my immune system goes into overdrive to battle the bad.

Winter Blues

I'm soo tired. For the past few weeks I have incorporated the Theatrical lifestyle and my days are now starting from noon to about 3am. So when I was called by my Temp Agency about the law firm I was working at that they needed me again for Thursday, I perked up. Little did I know that this required me sleeping at midnight, which is the time that I get home when I'm running a show. That caused a lot of problems. I ended up watching the original Battlestar Galactica series since I have the internet installed now. It's pretty interesting I must say. I wonder if the remake is better.

Working on Edward II has been an entirely brand new experience. The reason I say this is because I've been able to see what it really is like for a sound operator. They not only press the Go button, but they have the troubleshoot the system as well. Thus they need to have a working knowledge of the equipment and whatnot. We are constantly trying to perfect each performance. I'm really enjoying it. I learn something new every day and it's never the same issue that I have to deal with each night. Plus, I work with a great set of team mates. Of course the running joke is that I'm the youngest out of everyone in the team. I just turned 25. How does that make me feel? Great actually...but also that I deserve it I guess. Seeing as I put in two years learning about theatre from scratch and then throwing myself into the deep end of things and learning as well as making things work at the same time.

I'm just really tired and I think I caught Louis' cold. The past week, Louis' throat has swollen up causing him to have trouble breathing when he's lying down. He's also very congested nasally. I'm feeling kind of dry where the throat meets the nasal passage. I wonder if it's because I've been trying to take care of him. I got him some nasal decongestant medicine. There's a new policy now in drug stores. You have to have your ID information entered into the database when you purchase Pseudoephedrine HCI and you have to sign an agreement about the misuse of the product could result in a $250,000 fine as well as jail time. This is insane! I've never heard of this before. I asked the cashier why all the security and she told me that people are using the active ingredient in this product to make Crystal Meth. I had no idea. I don't even take aspirin for my headaches.

I GOT SHIT ON BY A PIGEON ON THE Q SUBWAY PLATFORM AT AVENUE U.

Day old post

All was going well this morning when I woke at 7:30am. I got my dirty laundry together and went to the laundromat. Then I made lunch and possibly dinner for myself and tossed them into a plastic container.

I listened to Louis Armstrong and Mozart on the record player. I was able to get to the theatre early. I'm on top of my game.

Not Enough To Do On the Web

There is absolutely nothing more to do on the web! I've checked Facebook. I've checked my emails. Now I'm posting yet another entry into my blog. No one reads this. I don't know why I'm doing this. I'm bored.

My brother has just informed me that he will be staying with me during his winter break. That's fine for me. I just need to find a way to get keys to him. That means I need to make keys because Mom has taken the 2nd set of keys. At least there will be someone in the apartment other than me. It's all good.

I'm seriously considering getting a cat to keep me company in the apartment. It will also force me to stay there more often rather than stay at Louis' place. Maybe I should get curtains first before getting a cat. Not curtains. Blinds. Cats won't be scratching at the blinds then. Blinds. It's settled. When I get the time to get blinds that is. I'm exhausted.

I just watched Taboo with Amber Benson, Eddie Kaye Thomas, and Nick Stahl last night. Twisted movie. Creepy and disgusting. I dropped in in the mail this morning as soon as I could.

I found a rubber band long enough to wrap around the turntable. It works!!! I think I need a tighter one, but I'm sure I can find that at Staples. That's a reminder to myself. Visit Staples or other stationery stores to find larger rubber bands. I think it's funny that a rubber band could have worked. Why hasn't anyone thought about using these than specially made belts for the turntables???

I'M ALSO EXTREMELY SLEEPY RIGHT NOW.

I have to pee...

It's what I am thinking at the moment while we are working through Act 2 of Edward II. *sigh*

I went to a Film Forum interview to be an Administrative Assistant there, however the position has been awarded to someone else. Bummer. I am not sure why I feel soo upset by this, but I am. I'm starting to feel as if no one will hire me as a full time employee. Probably because my employment track record is soo short. I don't normally stay in one position for too long...mostly because I'm a freelancer. I was working as a freelancer for the independent film industry and as a freelancer you try to keep employed as long as possible, but if the project ends, how can you say that it continued for 2 years? You can't obviously. So it looks like you keep quitting and people keep hiring you or you get fired which is entirely not the case. I'm hoping for a full time job because I want to increase my financial status.

I'm feeling financially insecure at the moment because I have a boyfriend now and I don't want him to think that he has to support me. I want to still be able to support myself. I will continue to apply for full time office positions because I believe that something will come along and I will be hired. I just need to keep at it. Maybe if I got even a part-time gig working in a store for more than 2 years will help.

Also, I just worked at Theatre for the New City out in the East Village. I should put that down on my resume. That's a reminder to myself.

I just read that Tim Berners Lee is the inventor of the Worldwide Web. He's British. Funny how most Americans think that the internet was invented by an American. I think Louis told me that Bell Labs invented the internet. This disproves the notion. I'm reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown and this is how I came to the information. TBL is pretty much the Chair of 3Com of which my father worked for. I think that is pretty cool and I wonder if he has met him.

Playwright's Horizons and Edward II

I have a job! I have a job! I'm working Off-Broadway! Moving up in the world! I'm very excited at the opportunity to work Off-Broadway. I am witnessing something very rare here. People actually know what they are doing! It's nothing like off-off-broadway. It's a bit like watching a film crew do their work and understand the limits and what can be done and what can't.

I'm also making contacts in the process. Everyone is professional and thus far very kind. I met a few of the actors. They are all scrumptious. Wonderful people. No large egos and no divas as far as I am concerned.

I hope to work with them again in the future. I can't wait till they open. I hope lots of people come to see the play.

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Just a few notes about recently. I just read the book "The Fuck-Up" and I must say, I'm never going to pick up and read another Urban Fiction novel again. It was horrible. I want a book where it doesn't take me 1 day to finish. What is the fun in that? I want something where I can be completely into it and that I won't breeze through. The writing was mediocre and the spelling was worse. Urban Fiction is the trashy romance genre for the young generation of the 21st century.

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The ride into town was wonderful on the Q Train. I am in the middle of cleaning up my library and the books on my shelf. I took "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown from my brother a few years ago. I wanted to read the beginning of Robert Langdon. I'm torn about this book. I'm wondering how much of this book is bullshit and how much is not. The only thing I can assume is that the names and titles are true, and everything else is fabricated. I'm on the train at about 12:30pm and reading when from behind me I hear a man getting very upset about something. I notice people all start looking in that direction. The man is becoming very aggravated by this woman who apparently stepped on his pants (baggy jeans) and his duffel bag. It gets to the point where the woman moves to another seat --obviously trying to avoid a confrontation. This man just constantly bombards this woman and now has moved to the man sitting across the way. He starts yelling about how it is disrespectful for someone to step on their pants. He accuses the man across the way of enabling the woman. It gets to the point where the man across the way says "Just leave it alone." and "Everyone just wants to go to work in peace." and "No one is talking to you." It has gotten to the point where another person has now entered the scene. This guy I think was a detective of some sort. He pulled out of his back pocket, a leather case --which I'm assuming is his badge. Then he asked the aggravated man who is now standing and getting in both these people's faces if he wants to be arrested. If he does not want to be arrested, then he should sit down and be quiet. This goes on for about 5-6 stops. The aggravated man finally gets off with the detective at DeKalb.

I have never in all my time living in New York City seen anything quite like this. Riding the train is normally uneventful. I'm usually sleeping on the train, listening to my music, or reading. It's really that boring. But this was exciting. I'm glad it didn't escalate to the point where people were fighting, but it's an interesting way to start off the day.

Delirium Tremens

December 1, I went to Williamsburg because I was invited to an Evening of One Acts by The New Company Theatre. Let's see, who was there? Kayla, Mike, Kaseem, Matt, and Max. Those were the people that I know of. Everyone else were strangers. Blehh...

I had no idea it was being held at Max's place. But Kayla said that the beer was free for me so I drank. What I neglected to do was to eat something between 2pm and 10pm of when I was there. Hmm...and then I downed 8 bottles of beer! Eugh...

I safely got onto the Q train, but missed my stop because I passed out. I'm glad that my wallet was not stolen nor was I harmed. As the Q train was pulling into the Coney Island station at 2:30am (last stop), I lifted my head and felt the need to burp. I didn't just burp. I vomited. All over my lap, the floor, and the cell phone ear piece I saw on the floor. Needless to say, I was completely wasted and sick and gone. I wanted my bed. I didn't dare move from the train and hoped to God that it was just going to head back to Manhattan and not out of commission. The train did start moving and once we were at Avenue U, I darted up and ran out the door. Of course that was the wrong move to make. I instantly felt queasy again and sat on the bench available in the station for a good 10 minutes before getting up again and making my way out. I got as far as 15th Street and threw up again. This time it was just bile.

The next morning was no better. In fact, it was worse. I woke up still feeling nauseated. Not only that but I suffered what Louis calls the DTs. I looked it up on Wikipedia and this is the information I got:

"Delirium tremens (colloquially, the DTs, "the horrors", "the shakes" or "rum fits;" literally, "shaking delirium" or "trembling madness" in Latin) is an acute episode of delirium that is usually caused by withdrawal or abstinence, from alcohol following habitual excessive drinking, or benzodiazepines or barbiturates (and other minor tranquilizers)."

Symptoms include: "The main symptoms are confusion, disorientation and agitation. Other common symptoms include intense hallucinations such as visions of insects, snakes or rats (or stereotypically, pink elephants). These may be related to the environment, e.g., drawings on wallpaper that the patient would perceive as giant spiders attacking him or her. Unlike hallucinations associated with schizophrenia, delirium tremens hallucinations are primarily visual, but associated with tactile hallucinations such as sensations of something crawling on the subject - a phenomenon known as formication...DT has extreme autonomic hyperactivity (high pulse, blood pressure, and rate of breathing), and 35-60% of patients have a fever."

Let's just say that day was a day of rest for me. I was at Louis' place for the day and he basically took care of me. I can't say enough about Louis. He's intelligent, truthful and honest, caring, and a wonderful friend. When I broke up with my last lover/boyfriend, I thought it was the end of the world. I had never experienced such a depressing moment. But I now know there was a very good reason it would have never worked out and that is because there are better people in the world that I could be with and Louis is at the moment the best. Aww Hell, we're the same size, so we exchange clothing items. I'm wearing his belt and he mine. We also have this weird connection and will appear in almost the matching outfits. Best of all, we take care of each other. If I knew Louis was sick, I'd sacrifice what I wanted to do and take care of him and he's taken care of me a few times already. I have nothing to complain about right now.